Mr. and Mrs. Scatter know all about the sacred naming process.
In a recent post, Mr. Scatter waxed beautifully about William Faulkner and H.L. Mencken, Sir Toby Belch and some guy named Flem. As Mr. Scatter put it:
“Naming was a serious and sometimes flowery business. … Naming is an almost mystical occasion, an assigning of an [...]
HELLO? MR. SCATTER? ANYBODY HOME?
to evewybody else: shhh! be vewy vewy qwiet. let’s see how long it takes mr. scatter to notice i’ve posted something.
(hey, what’s up with the dreadful new digs?)
*****
Behold. My own blog sign-in. Not that I have bloglegs to go with it. I’ve had the superblogpower for a while and have been [...]
The Pantsless Brother (TPB), who was so concerned about Mrs. Scatter overexposing his predicament about getting gas out of his pants, recently said, “So you haven’t written for a coupla weeks.”
Charles Deemer commented on Mr. Scatter’s recent post about – in no particular order – hairy beasts, barista whelps, a little town some miles south [...]
In honor of the guerrilla tactics of people climbing onto MAX trains without wearing pants, we’ll pretend we have an important news angle and tell this tale:
My brother* showed up at my house wearing pajama pants.
We hugged. He hauled his suitcase into the guest room. He was casual for a while and then felt compelled [...]
Many months ago I showed up at a friend’s beach cabin and before I could walk even a few feet in the door she regaled me with a story about how when she arrived at the cabin the kitchen was perfectly pristine except for a piece of paper, conspicuously propped up. Excited, she picked it [...]
E-mail to colleague first thing: “I won’t be at the office this morning. I’m getting new toilets.”
And just in time. The hard-to-lift boxes had to get out of the Large Smelly Boymobile before Dungeons & Dragons Dad picked up six Large Smelly D&D Players.
Sound familiar?
The last story started there but veered to pants. And kilts.
Mr. [...]
E-mail to colleague first thing: “I won’t be at the office this morning. I’m getting new toilets.”
And just in time. The hard-to-lift boxes had to get out of the Large Smelly Boymobile before Dungeons & Dragons Dad has to pick up six Large Smelly D&D Players.
On a recent sunny Sunday morning, I got out of [...]
Less than a week after I left my decades-long job on May 1, I found myself in hell-and-gone suburbs shopping for the perfect soap dispensers. And pillows. And those fluffy egg-crate-looking things that are supposed to make beds gooshier.
I knew this was weird. I told myself this wasn’t an emotional reaction but that I was [...]
Mrs. Scatter only reports in short e-mail bursts these days. Her long-winded farcical spiels have been reduced to quick knock-off observations. This morning she prepared to leave for the office …
She coiffed her hair in a perfect rumple, slipped on a pair of polished pumps, picked up her overlarge and overweight laptop case, kissed Mr. [...]
My younger Large Smelly Boy plans birthday parties with the frightening precision of an engineer. Felix Unger? Meet Martha Stewart.
He begins months in advance, poring over magazines and listing all the activities he wants to do and all the recipes he wants to make. He redoes his lists. He designs his invitations. He insists it [...]