League of Tough-Guy Arts Observers: Join the club!
It’s not often that a person starts a full-fledged organization with a casual flick of a typing finger, but I appear to have done just that in an August 27 post in which I defended my fondness for a good chick flick.
I found myself typing the following throwaway sentence:
“Yes, I like the movies of Nora Ephron, and if that drums me out of the league of tough-guy arts observers, so be it.”
Mighty Toy Cannon, the Sage of Culture Shock, immediately took me to task for not capitalizing the phrase, and out of that finger-wagging the League of Tough-Guy Arts Observers was born.
Some didacts will argue that it should be “Tough-guy,” on the basis that a hyphenated word is by definition a single word and a single word can have only a single capitalization. To them I say: “Tough-guy” looks dumb. Start your own club.
Since then both Mr. and Mrs. Scatter have been scattering references to the LTGAO in our maunderings, always linking them back to that original chick-flicks post. Trouble is, you have to check high and low in the chick-flick story to discover the coinage of the term.
And there are deeper problems, such as:
- What the heck is the League of Tough-Guy Arts Observers, anyway?
- Who’s in charge?
- Can I join?
- Can I join if I’m a Tough Gal?
- Is there a secret handshake?
- What is the official League drink?
- Is there an official League logo, and do I get a membership card?
- Where do I pay my annual dues?
Excellent questions. I’ll answer them as well as I can.
- It’s whatever its members want it to be. Members may join earnestly or ironically, with a passion for flaying or a weakness for whimsy. Or even because they think it might improve their social standing.
- In charge? Does that imply responsibility?
- Of course you can join. Please do. Just leave a comment with your name and serial number and a confession of your deepest, darkest desires.
- Tough Gals are especially welcome. We mean “tough-guy” in an all-embracing way. Even mules are welcome to join, although they might find it tough to type those comments.
- I am hereby deputizing Commissar Mighty Toy Cannon to devise and photograph one. When he has completed his task, we’ll post the pictures of the process.
- You’re free to drink whatever you want. May I suggest bourbon and branch water?
- All you designers out there, get off your duffs and design us one. Thanks.
- The League of Tough-Guy Arts Observers is a democratic organization — anarchistic might be a better word — and like most everything else, membership payments are not required. Still, donations to the good cause are appreciated. Anyone wishing to help us fight the good fight is encouraged to transfer truckloads of cash to Mr. and Mrs. Scatter’s secret Swiss bank account. Contact us. We’ll give you the account number.
We’re also in the market for a good motto. Please give us your suggestions. Something better than, “I heap your pitiful effort with scorn, amateur boy!”
Come join our happy throng.
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Above: League of Tough-Guy Arts Observers official club illustrator Honore Daumier captures a couple of typical moments from League social gatherings.
September 16th, 2009 at 7:04 am
How about I join? My motto suggestion: Try not to suck. (thanks Larry Brooks at Cre8con)
September 16th, 2009 at 7:46 am
I am honored to be deputized in support of the cause–or can we call it a movement? Now where did I put that thinking cap? One other thing you should know: The days of Swiss bank secrecy are over. Might I suggest investing in a Nigerian bank?
September 16th, 2009 at 8:35 pm
Glad to have you aboard, Cory. MTC will teach you the secret handshake once he’s got it figured out. Invite your friends and enemies! How about, “We say what we mean and we mean what we say”?
September 16th, 2009 at 10:56 pm
My early prototype of a secret handshake had to be abandoned because I ignored some basic laws of physics in its design–back to the drawing board. Will the first task of the League of Tough-Guy Arts Observers be a battle against the Coalition of Cranky Conductors?
September 17th, 2009 at 10:26 am
The next version of the secret handshake has dislocated my shoulder. I think I’ll try to simplify.
Without going into the details of its provenance, I found an excerpt from a letter written in a letter by an early 19-century critic in response to the subject of her review. It’s too long for a motto, but might find a place either in the oath for the League of Tough-Guy Arts Observers, or as a kind of closing benediction for official meetings:
“As I have offended you, I take it kind that you have publicly told me so, because it gives me an opportunity thus openly to avow my regret, and, at the same time, to offer you all the atonement which is now in my power.”
September 17th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
I’m sure I don’t know why, but I can’t even remember how to do the hippie handshake. The knowledge seems to have disappeared along with everything else I presumably know about the 1970s. (Wasn’t there something called “country rock”?)
I don’t think the Coalition of Cranky Conductors is as organized as the League of Tough-Guy Arts Observers (boy, that’s saying something!) so I’m not sure it’d be sporting to do battle with them. Yet. But it’s an interesting suggestion.
I do like the idea of a closing benediction. It would have to be extremely ecumenical, of course, and something that could be handled with a minimum amount of hand gesturing, so as not to spill the bourbon and branch water.
September 21st, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Now thinking that the secret handshake for the League of Tough-Guy Arts Observers should be similar to blogging: Done alone without any real audience, but with hope that at least a few people will comment, “Say, that was an interesting handshake, IMHO.”